The current of my chosen river is pursuing the Kingdom of Heaven at whirlwind speed these days. Pursuing may not be the right word, actually….rather, this fast-flowing river is leading me to the simple realization that the Kingdom is within me, that I AM the Kingdom.
I spent some time in an intense sacred ceremony yesterday during which I confronted deep-seated, illusory fears of death, pain and judgement in a way I never imagined I would have to. Indeed, considering previous experiences with this particular Teacher, I was thrown into something emotionally charged and unexpected, similar, in fact, to even an Aya ceremony. In the jungles of the Amazon, we are taught that during release it is common to experience the feeling of the emotions being released before you realize that all you needed to do from the beginning was simply surrender to the current and experience the bliss of transformation.
It took me a little bit, but when I finally let go, submerged in the hot, soothing waters of a bath, I realized that the river had never been dragging me. In fact, the river supports us all every breath of the way. I settled into a state of bliss that matched the previous intensity of the denser emotions that were being transformed, and this feeling has settled into a deep serenity that continues even into this moment.
The spirit becomes playful and joyful when we surrender.